Wednesday, November 16, 2005

My Dad

My dad is 66 years old and was raised in a strict Mennonite family in Ohio and Wisconsin. His father was a preacher. My dad and mom married had 4 kids and then he decided he didn’t need God anymore, and has been running from him ever since. Or maybe it’s just denying him. I don’t know. I’ve often wondered how one can be raised with God so important to life and then deny it. I know I’m just naive and ignorant…I’m sure it happens all the time.

For the last 40 years my dad has smoked 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day. For the past 5 years or so he has been drinking like there is no tomorrow and I’ve watched him dwindle into nothing. Every time I saw him, once a year he flies out to spend time with me for a few days, I would notice his health worse and worse but he would always say “I’m doing great!” Never could he leave the cigarettes behind. Two years ago his doctor told him he needed to stop drinking or he would kill himself, his liver was quite a mess. So he cut way back and his liver function improved significantly but he never quit. I just couldn’t help but wonder how long this could last.

Every time he’d call over the last few years I would wonder if "this" was the call. Every time he'd call I'd ask "how are you?" and he'd say "pretty good." Today I asked as usual and he said, "Well, I don't know." I stopped in my tracks...THIS was the call.

Today my dad called and told me they found a mass in his throat. “It doesn’t look good” he said. But they really don’t know anything definitively until they do a CT scan and PET scan on Friday, the 18th.

As I’ve sat contemplating all of this this evening two things have come to mind. The first and foremost is that with all my heart I pray that he will find God once again. The other thought just came to me and that is not only has he isolated himself from God, the comforter, the spirit of truth who art everywhere and fillest all things, but he is at this time many states away from any of his immediate family; his children and his siblings are all very far away. They all love him and are there for him but can’t be NEAR him. I all of a sudden feel very sorry for him, it saddens me deeply to think how he is going to be feeling going through all of this. I pray, and beg for you to pray, that this extremely low time in his life will find him reaching for God.

Your mercy endures forever, Oh Lord. Despise not the works of your hands, to You belongs worship, to You belongs praise, to You belongs glory: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen

6 comments:

Hilarius said...

Susan Sophia:

I've posted a few comments on James' 'blog from time to time. I am sure many will be praying for your dad, that whatever the outcome of his illnesses, it should be so that the grace of God may abound in his life. Of course, I will also keep you all in my meager prayers.

- Eric

Dawn said...

Susan,
I will keep your dad in my prayers. I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Sue, my heart is heavy for you. You and your siblings AND your dad are in my prayers. Next week I can give you a HUG!!!!
Love you, Mom

Mimi said...

Susan,

I'm so, so sorry. Your dad is in my prayers.

Susan Sophia said...

Thank you all so much for your prayers. They are so appreciated.

Susan Sophia

Elizabeth said...

Lord have mercy upon you all and comfort you.
In my prayers