Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Hello dear readers, if you are still there. Life is FULL.  

Full of ups and full of downs and every hill in between.  

Some days I fall apart and some days are pure bliss. 

I cannot lie.  I don't want to pretend. 

Every year of my life seems to move faster, relentlessly.

What has the last 6 months brought? How must I find thankfulness at every turn?  I'm still counting, slow but sure.  Months go by as I forget to pick up the pen.  And forget to be thankful, yielding to the demands of the fast paced, wired world that calls my name at every tick of the clock.  

Suddenly I realize I've lost 6 months of my life to grumbling, hurried and hairy-ed interactions.  And for what?

My children grow...
Kelsey will be 17 in just over a month and started a "running start" program through the local high school where she is attending college FULL TIME.  I pay for books, they pay tuition.  Sweet! 
Charissa is 14 now and has finally decided to take ownership of her schooling.  Her favorite study? Astronomy.  She is diving in.
Nicholas will be 13 in 2 months!  THIRTEEN!  OH my!  He is getting tall and his feet are bigger than mine and his hands are huge and soon he will grow into them.  He is 100% boy.
Joseph is 11 and still loves to cuddle.  Although TODAY, at our home school co-op, he would NOT give me a hug because down the hall was one of his friends.  We laughed.  He recognized the change and hugged me in secret.  This was huge for my heart. 

My babies are all gone.  People keep telling me that I need to relish the moments I have them because soon they will leave my home and enter their own.  Yes, this is true. But you see, the "children" are already gone from my arms.  Those are the days to cherish.  They days they fit in your arms, they days they WANT to be in your arms. Those are the  days I cling to in my mind as the now most difficult years are upon me.  The year they pull and yank and run, to find there own way in the world.

James, my beloved of over 19 years, grows...
James found his way back to Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center and the Uganda Cancer Institute.  He started his new job in June and has already been to Uganda twice.  He just returned on Friday from his 2nd trip.  He loves his new job and now he has begun serving at a small mission Church while he is there. 

And I grow...or I hope I am.  Striving to find my path; climbing, falling, climbing. Halting. Continueing. Striving. Knowing that the truest, most beautiful path is one that points to God.  I'm looking at new things:
Homeschooling with Gentleness
Grain Brain
Dr. Wilson

And most importantly I'm counting again.  Thankful for every day.  Despite how it turns out. What I do do or no not do.  OR what my children do or do not do.  

I want to find the good in every day.

Today the sun was shining.
I got that secret hug.
My mom made an amazing dinner for us.
I chopped wood.
Made the FIRST fire of the season in the wood stove.
Laughed with the kids.
Chatted with many a friend at co-op.
Saw the cutest baby I've seen in a long time.
Started a good book.

What are you thankful for today?