Now I lay me down to sleep...2

Back in November I posted this on the photo blog.

Since so many liked that I just had to share this with you all. I love it!! This is how I found little Joe tonight.

Christ is Risen!!!

Let us therefore celebrate the Resurrection of the Lord. He rose, and He brought up with Him the world. He rose, breaking the bonds of death, resurrecting us by breaking the chains of our sins. Adam sinned and died. Christ died but did not sin. This is new and strange. The first sinned and died, the second died having not sinned. For whom did this happen and why? So that he who had sinned and died be liberated from the bonds of death through Him Who died having not sinned. This also happens with those who owe money. Someone is in debt but is unable to repay his debt and therefore is put in prison. Someone else who does not owe the money but is able to pay repays the debt and the debtor is released. This same things happened with Adam and Christ.

St. John Chrysostom, A Homily on the Holy Pascha

More pics here.

Remodel

Last summer we started dividing our big garage conversion(previous to our buying) into several smaller rooms. The first picture here shows the walls just going up. The second picture skeleton of the spare room my mom is sleeping in now. Another wonderful feature that we did was to build some bookshelves into the wall. These are pretty much finished but need trim and stain. The last pictures are the finished product. I'm so proud of the end result (maybe too proud) I just had to show off the pictures. You can see the door opening in the first couple of pictures and the finished door. It is VERY exciting. What a sense of accomplishment! Thank you sweetie, for all your hard work!

Grandma's Here!

My mom and auntie Carol arrived on the train today! My kids really miss grandma when she is not here.

Go see my cute little ones...

Although not so little anymore.

A couple new pics here....

Out of the mouths of babes....

My three year old, Joseph, took Holy Communion on Sunday like a big boy, arms crossed, said his own name, waited for Dn. Lawrence to finish the prayer and walked away to grab his antidoron. As he walked up to me with bread in his mouth, he beamed as he said, "My mouth is holy."

I'm beaming from ear to ear.

Still Time

I received this message from John who received it from Fr. Wayne of St. Barnabas.
I just had to share it, I love it!

My dear spiritual sons and daughters:
I copied this from an Orthodox site, written by an
Russian Orthodox priest's wife.


Congratulating everyone on having reached the middle of the Fast.

There's still time, even if it is later than we thought. Time to start the
struggle. Time to increase prayers.

Time to refrain from things we haven't gotten around to refraining from.
Time to make a positive difference, to visit the sick, to give alms, to be
nice to strangers, to be patient with loved ones.
God still loves us. There is still time.

If you haven't been to PreSanctified Liturgy or to an Akathist yet, there is
still time.
If today's lunch wasn't fasting, tomorrow's still can be.

If you didn't say Morning Prayers, you can still say evening prayers.
If you quarreled with someone who still lives, you can still make peace.

If you haven't been to confession and Holy Communion yet, Sunday approaches.

There is time to purchase egg dye and almonds and raisins for the festal
foods.
There is time to save oatmeal boxes, coffee cans, onion skins.... and your
soul.

Not over yet, but still halfway over.

In my kitchen

Thank you, Arielle-Juliana, for inspiring me to try something new. I have never baked pita bread and you gave me the courage. Here are some pictures of the outcome. They don't look quite as good as Arielle's but it was so fun and yummy. And the best part...it was entertaining for the children. They loved it.
Also, you will see my chopping helper hard at work. The girls take turns chopping the salad vegetables each evening.

Prayer

As I was searching the Orthodox areas of the internet on praying to the saints I ran across this little piece of information that made me stop in my tracks. I just had to read it again and again and ponder on what it is really saying. You can find the whole article here.

The purpose of prayer is to have communion with God and to be made capable of accomplishing his Will. Christians pray to enable themselves to know God and to do his commandments. Unless a person is willing to change himself and to conform himself to Christ in the fulfillment of his commandments, he has no reason or purpose to pray. According to the saints, it is even spiritually dangerous to pray to God without the intention of responding and moving along the path that prayer will take us.

Back in the real world...

Mary Dawn and I returned yesterday evening from a most fabulous time at St. John the Forerunner Monastery. It was very relaxing and inspiring. Everytime I go I gain a greater respect for my faith and especially the Eucharist. It inspires me to strive even harder on my path to God. I pray the effects last a life time.
Here are just a couple pictures but will post more on the photo blog.
On Sunday afternoon we received a beautiful layer of snow. We couldn't help but hike around in the snow and take pictures...those will be on the photo blog.

I came home to find a letter from St. John of San Francisco Monastery and learned that they are in escrow on a place outside of Redding. You can see it here, and WoW! Sooo, an english speaking monastery will be about 12 hours away, a little further than I'd hoped but it will be good to visit someday.

Off we go...

Mary (Dawn) and I are headed to Goldendale to the St. John the Forerunner Monastery for 2 nights. I'm really excited as this is my second pilgrimage, the first was one year ago on the same 1st weekend of Lent, and this is Mary's first pilgrimage to the monastery. (At the monastery you typically go by your patron saint name.)

Please pray for safe travel as we travel over 3 mountain passes.

Sophia

"A Mother's Rule of Life" Part 3

Well, I'm on the last chapter of "A Mother's Rule of Life" by Holly Pierlot. I blogged about the beginnings of it here and here as you can see by the title. But I just could not leave it at that as I've come to a close on it.
This is by far one of the best books I've read on homemaking, mothering, and faith all wrapped into one and I've read a lot! As the whole purpose of this blog was started to find our for me what motherhood and homemaking were to be I've researched and read and prayed. God has definitely answered my prayers in this book! I am actually considering writing a letter to the author (she has a blog) to convey my gratefulness.
I cannot tell you enough how this book is (hopefully) opening my mind and clearing my senses on so much regarding prayer, marriage, mother, homemaking, etc. And to boot...it is very orthodox in it's thinking and is VERY faith based. Can you believe or imagine...I never dreamt I'd find something so close to my faith and on this topic! It is written by a catholic woman but I'd never know except for the mention of numerous western saints.

I briefly touched on this in a comment on one of the earlier posts but want to expand on it.
The Mother's Rule is based on the 5-P's of the married vocation that a priest told her about early in her marriage. I'll name them and then tell you at least one thing that really caught my attention about each. (Sorry this might get long as these have been so eye opening to me...I can't help it.) These are in order of the priority we should keep them at.

First P= PRAYER
Theology professor Fr. Tom Daley once said, "We must realize that law precedes love. The laws that God imposes on us from the outside are meant to discipline us, to help our hearts grow into the laws of love which motivate us from within." ...So I was to obey... So our Christian calling wasn't only about avoiding sin, but about taking positive steps forward to complete the mission God has entrusted to us. My Mother's Rule of Life, then, was obedience to God's will by using my freedom to work toward my vocation, my mission on earth.

Second P= PERSON (This entire chapter is quite profound.)
Our spiritual health directly affects our personal health...
That problem was a nasty little personal motto that had followed me all my life: "But I don't want to!" Of all the difficulties I had encountered in my search for personal wholeness, perhaps my greatest enemy was my interior spirit of rebillion. My reluctance to let go of my own will and my resistance to doing what I was supposed to do instead of what I wanted to do were preventing me from moving closer to God and to happiness. Fr. Tom Daly says, "Freedom is taking responisibilty for who you are to become." Now that was not a familiar concept. Our society's idea of freedom, and the one I had functioned with for so long, meant the "right" to do whatever I wanted, free from external restraints. True freedom, then, Christian freedom, is when we willingly take the steps needed to return ourselves to the internal order God intended... Thus, there has to com a time when we begin consciously to act in conformity with what we know to be good. This means engaging the will. I reached a point where I realized I had to stop so much reading and beging DOING. To make a straight path to God in my heart, I had to train myself to do what is right.

Third P= PARTNER
And as with Holy Orders, we need to realize that the sacrament of Marriage is meant to enable us to fulfill a mission--in this instance, a mission of service and love toward our spouse.

Fourth P=PARENT
It took a long time for me to realize I had been chosen by God to be a mother and that I myself had chosen to be a mother. It took a while to see that, yes, my talents and interests and training were all important things, but my family duties would override any calling outside for a good long while. And I'd come to learn, slowly, that the seemingly mundane and unimportant work of a mother--loving God, living a holy marriage, and raising happy, balanced, holy children--was in the grand scheme of God's plan more important than the many projects and ambitions I had in other areas. I had to learn, over the course of years, that relationships were more important than tasks, that being was more important than doing.
"What can I do that will really make a difference in society?" Raising my children with a Christian worldview was the biggest contribution to society that I could possibly make; giving to the world healthy, holy citizens who would spread their influence in an exponential way...My work with my children was the very core of societal change. I had discovered the mission of motherhood!

Fifth P= PROVIDER
Many times, our responsibilities in this area can overtake some of the higher priorities of family life because our home duties and money concerns are so varied and often time-consuming. Here we want to examine our provider role as God intended it, devote to it the necessary dignity it deserves, yet simultaneously streamline our efforts so that it assumes its rightful place in the five P's of our vocation. Above all, we need to understand that all our work in the home is good and ordained by God.

This book is better than I ever imagined and I pray that God will open my mind and heart to all that I have learned as I try to grasp the understand of my vocation here in my home...as it is ordained by God.

A blessed Lent to you all.

Great Canon of St Andrew of Crete--Kontakion for Monday

Kontakion, tone 6:

My soul, my soul, arise! Why are you sleeping? The end is drawing near, and you will be confounded. Awake, then, and be watchful, that Christ our God may spare you, Who is everywhere present and fills all things.

Please forgive me

Sunday, March 5, 2006
Sunday of Cheesefare (Forgiveness Sunday)

The Lord said, "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men and their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."


We begin Great Lent, our journey to Pascha(the Resurrection of our Lord) with Forgiveness Sunday. We are to "forgive men their trespasses" and as Alexander Schmemann says in Great Lent
The triumph of sin, the main sign of its rule over the world is division, opposition, separation, hatred. Therefore the first break through this fortress of sin is forgiveness: the return to unity, solidarity, love. To forgive is to put between me and my "enemy" the radiant forgiveness of God Himself. To forgive is to reject the hopeless "dead-ends" of human relations and to refer them to Christ. Forgiveness is truly a "breakthrough" of the Kingdom into this sinful and fallen world.

So as we start Great Lent I would like to ask forgiveness to you, my blogger friends, my family and those dear to me. Please forgive me.

God forgives all.

from the mouths of boys...playing and singing

"bah bah black sheep have you more wool.
yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
one for the master, one for the rain, one for the little boy who lives down the drain.
bah bah, black sheep have you more wool.
yes sir, yes sir, three bags full."

"A Mother's Rule of Life" Part 2

"Schedules might be limiting" Holly says, "But disorder is more limiting."
I understand that Jesus is perfectly willing to bless my efforts, but first had had to have efforts to bless. I had to do all in my power to fulfill my obligations.
She goes on to say...
Jesus was asking for the dedication of my entire self to my vocation.
Thus "A Mother's Rule of Life" was born.
A rule of Life is a traditional Christian tool for ordering one's vocation and the duties it entails, and the development of a schedule for fulfilling these responsibilities in a consistent and orderly way.
The Catholic Dictionary defines "The Rule" as "a happy disposition of things...a multitude reduced in some wise to unity."
She goes on to say "That is just what I wanted: "a happy disposition," and to reduce all the overwhelming tasks of motherhood into a nice, single unit of work I could handle. And in my mind, I couldn't see any extreme difference between a religious community and a family community: there's still the mother abbess (mom), and the postulants and novices (the little ones mom needs to raise), and the professed sisters (the older children who can help)...
But there was something else I found intriguing about the whole notion of a Rule of Life: that it was also suppose to lead me to holiness.

This is all very profound to me and extremely appealing. Making more sense than anything I've ever read. I've read so much about the importance of schedules to make a home run smoothly, a schedule to help stay on task, etc. But to look at it all as my vocation in life given to me by God, likening it to monastery life, brings so much more meaning to me.
We must analyze our vocation. She goes on to say...
We see, then, that the practical element of a Rule is a reflection of the aims and mission of our vocation, whis should determine how we spend our time.
Now, I had tried schedules before and had failed. Was that because I was trying to order my life according to goals that didn't reflect what my calling as a Christian, a wife, and a mother demanded? Was the stress I had been experiencing the result of an imbalance in my priorities? Seeing how I was so often confused about everything, did I even know what my primary daily duties were supposed to be? After all, a Rule of Life deals primarily with essential responsibilities. How could I know whether I was giving these the primacy they deserve?

Okay, enough of my quoting the book. All I know is that I have found a book that really spoke to me in making me see that my life has far more meaning than I ever imagined. It is helping me prioritize responsibility and the first is God Himself.

Learn more...find the book at your local library (which is what I did) or find it here. It is profoundly beneficial!!!!

"A Mother's Rule of Life"

Because this blog really got going because of a desire to learn about what my "job" is and the majority of my posts are on this topic (Homemaking and Motherhood) I just had to share this book that someone just introduced me to. I've joined a yahoo group title Orthodox Classical Homeschool and someone brought up the question about the mundane and sometimes boring life of homemaker...wanting to know if they were alone in feeling this way from time to time. Someone replied with a book suggestion called "A Mother's Rule of Life" by Holly Pierlot. The author is Roman Catholic, wife, mother of five and homeschooling mom. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful this book is and I'm only on chapter 3! (She even has a website/blog.) My hope is to wet your whistle with quotes from the book today and in future posts. It is very Orthodox in it's thinking in many ways and really has given me a new perspective on my role and homemaker and mother. I hope to learn a lot from it. I know it won't "cure" the mundane or the sin for that matter but it's a hope, a new way of looking at my role that God Himself has given me.

Excerpt from the Introduction
"What does it mean to seek Christian perfection? A long time ago, I thought it meant perfect behavior---that if I just did what I was told, strictly followed all the rules, fervently prayed all the paryers, and spent a lot of time on aching knees in a quiet chapel somewhere, then I'd be "perfect"....
Later I developed a totally new concept of Christian perfection. It meant being a "saint"...
At another point, I thought Christian perfection meant being a nun...
But somewhere along the way, I realized Christian perfection had to mean something else. It had to be something just anybody could do, because Jesus said, "You...must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect," and he addressed this to all of us.
In my study, I came across a definition of perfection that finally made sense to me. Perfection is "union with God, which is possible in this world..."
To seek perfection in this life is really to seek union with God through love.
Perfection is for all of us, even for busy mothers stuck inside four walls, because all of us are called to love, We are all called to be saints, (although we are not all called to be canonized). We are all caleld to holiness, which is nothing more that the perfection of love within us. And as mothers, there are lots of people we can love!


More to come...because I just have to share.

trip to Kitsap Peninsula

We returned late last night after a weekend on the Kitsap Peninsula. We had a grand time crossing on the ferry, visiting our dear friend Dawn, meeting new friends at St. Elizabeth Orthodox Mission, and visiting Chief Sealth in the cemetary right next to the Mission. The weather was absolutely perfect!

Thunder and Lightening

I love music! And recently I've realized that I rarely listen to it anymore, but when I do it really changes the atmosphere and attitude of my home.
Lately I've been listening to some of my favorite, old Christian music...you know the ones...Amy Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman and even Keith Green! The ones I dared not touch once I became Orthodox because they just weren't, well orthodox. I don't know why, I think it is the typical knee-jerk reaction most former protestant make when running from protestantism. But you know what? I love this music! I miss it! *shyly admits*
There is one song in particular that I've looked at differently lately. I used to listen to it and "judge" my poor dad or others close to me who didn't know God and I still can listen to it and pray and hope that he will someday stop "waiting for lightening" and listen for God "as He quietly whispers" his name. (I secretly hope and pray the cancer is that lightening.) But the other day as I listened I heard something else.
What about me? Yes, I know God, I love God, I yearn for God. But I get in these slumps, I forget, I sin, I become complacent, lackadaisical. What am I waiting for? Do I need a "feeling to take me by storm" to remember my goal?



Standing on the edge of the truth,

Looking out at the view

Of all you used to believe,

From where you are you can see you’re far away from home.

Echoes of the life you once knew

Call out to you from across the divide,

And you know it’s time to step back over the line,

But you’re . . .

CHORUS

Waiting for lightning,

A sign that it’s time for a change;

And you’re listening for thunder,

While He quietly whispers your name.

Night falls and the curtain goes down;

No one’s around,

It’s just you and the truth.

As you lie in wait

For a feeling to take you by storm,

Somewhere in the depths of your heart,

Where it’s empty and dark, there’s a flicker of light,

And the Spirit calls,

But do you notice at all;

Are you . . .

(chorus)

But the sign and the word

Have already been given,

And now it’s by faith

We must look and we must listen,

Instead of . . .

(chorus)

Sun Sun Sun

I was almost giddy today with the sight of the golden sun shining from above all day long! It was absolutely gorgeous today...all day. As I drove the girls to school and we headed east at the top of 228th hill the view of the Olympics was breath-taking. As I picked them up 6 hours later it was precisely as I had left it. We had spring fever and stopped off at the park on the way home. Here are a few pictures of the kids soaking up the sun!

A tribute

This is a tribute to one of my and Sara's favorite foods as we've posted on our blogs recently.
She tagged me for the 4 meme and we both listed homemade bread as our favorite food...it made me hungry. So today I pulled my grandma's whole wheat bread recipe out and baked....mmmmm, it was delicious!

Okay...so it sure tasted good but it seems a bit short. It seemed to not raise well the second time around. I seem to have this problem a lot. I wonder if it raised too fast or something. It appears to have gone down once I turned the oven on (the bread was on top rising) and I wonder if the heat from the preheating oven was too much. Any thought from those of you who bake bread often. I've gotten into baking quite a bit but am still learning.

I've been tagged

I've been tagged by Sara

Four jobs you have had in your life
1. Reservation Agent with Northwest Airlines
2. dry cleaner presser
3. mailroom attendant
4. office cleaner on college campus

4 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. Parenthood
2. An Affair to Remember
3. When Harry met Sally
4. Sound of Music

4 Places You Have Lived
1. W. St. Paul, MN
2. Costa Mesa, CA
3. Bellevue, WA
4. Bothell, WA

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch
1. CSI
2. Survivor
3. 24
4. Law & Order

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation
1. New Mexico
2. Montana
3. Campgrounds all over MN/WI
4. Campgrounds all over WA

4 Websites You Visit Daily
1. Paradosis
2. Blue Canopy
3. Chronicles of Mary
4. In the process of weeding out....AND MANY MORE BLOGS

4 Of Your Favorite Foods
1. Good ice cream
2. Fresh-baked bread with butter
3. Spaghetti with Browned Butter and Mizithra Cheese
4. stove-top popped popcorn with real butter

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Minnesota
2. walking on a beach with James ( preferably a cool climate)
3. visiting Alaska
4. St. John the Forerunner Monastery in Goldendale

4 Bloggers You Are Tagging
1. Anyone who wants to
2.
3.
4.

Update on my dad

Here are my original posts #1 and #2.

Thank you for all your prayers!!! I just spoke with my dad today and learned that he has been almost completely smoke-free for 2 weeks now only have 2 cigarettes in the last 2 weeks!! He smoked nearly 3 packs a day prior to this! His spirits are high and I was so excited to hear how well he's been doing.
He goes in Wednesday to set up for 6 weeks of radiation at 5 days a week! There is a possibility that through the radiation his throat could get so sore he would not be able to eat. If this happens he would have a temporary feeding tube put in.

Thank you for your prayers and your continued prayers!

The clergyman of our family.

Here we have Fr. Nicholas and Dn. Joseph ready to serve. I created a pattern and sewed up these vestments for the boys for Christmas...they just opened them today on the 10th day of Christmas. We had to pry them off to get ready for bed. They took a bowl and filled it with lincoln logs and said it was the antidoron. I took a bell and tied rope on it for a censer.

Feast Day of St. Juliana and St. Seraphim

Christ is born!
Glorify Him!

I just wanted to write a little today as today is the feast day of two my favorite saints!

St. Seraphim of Sarov...a wonderful website here with his life and some of his writings. St. Juliana of Lazarevo...her story here.
A year and a half ago I taught vacation Church School and my class studied St. Seraphim. It was really a wonderful time and I love his story and the writings I've read so far.
St. Juliana was brought to my attention sometime over this past year, I came across this site and found her listed under Saints for the Kitchen and Home and investigated. If only I could develop even half of her virtue!

Oh most Holy St. Juliana and St. Seraphim, please pray unto God for me.

Troparion - Tone 4
You loved Christ from your youth, O blessed one,
and longing to work for Him alone you struggled in the wilderness in constant prayer and labor.
With penitent heart and great love for Christ you were favored by the Mother of God.
Therefore we cry to you:
"Save us by your prayers, venerable Seraphim, our father."

Troparion - Tone 4
By your righteous deeds you revealed to the world
An image of the perfect servant of the Lord.
By your fasting, vigil and prayers,
You were inspired in your evangelical life,
Feeding the hungry and caring for the poor,
Nursing the sick and strengthening the weak.
Now you stand at the right hand of the Master, Christ,
O holy Juliana, interceding for our souls.

And for those who have taken them as their patron saints....Many Years!!
Many, many years to Nathan Seraphim, Juliana Plew, and Arielle Juliana and Seraphim (Sky)!

A Christmas Greeting to share

I just recieved a greeting yesterday from a couple at Church. There are a few of you who know who this amazingly inspiring couple is. This Christmas Greeting was quite inspiring and encouraging and I had to share it.

Beloved Friends, Near and Far...
Like a silent mist descending upon a valley, the holy season of Advent has settled over our lives once again. As it has throughout the centuries, these blessed weeks of waiting help us focus on the holy birth soon to take place, a gift of time to prepare the manger of our hearts. This year especially, Advent provides our troubled souls a chance to pull away from the ceaseless images of suffereing thrust upon us throughout the past many months, and the vague feelings of apprehension, disquiet, and helplessness that yet remain. Dictionaries of facts and pictures have pummeled our tired ears and eyes; we drop our donations in the offereing plate or mailbox, but still the strange unrest lingers. And around the corners of our minds, unnamed and invisible, creeps a pervasive fear: will it-- can it-- happen to me...to mine?
Why should we not be afraid when gale force windes pick up cars and buildings; city streets turn into navigable rivers; the cost of heating our homes and driving our cars mangles the budget; the earth roars, splits, and tens of thousands perish; and bird flu may be just a flight away? Fear marches in the forefront of our minds; behind it, like ominous shadows, slink its elusive cousins named anxiety and worry. what if the layoffs include me? What if the blood test isn't normal? What if the furnace gives up for good, and a new one wipes out the savings for Sam's braces? What if he, or she, or they...?
"...do not be afraid," the angel commanded Joseph, who being a just and merciful man was unwilling to expose Mary's supposed sin when she was found to be with child. "Do not be afraid," the angel Gabriel reassured Zacharias, after telling him that his years of prayer for a son would be answered. "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God..." the angel said, comforting Mary when she was troubled by his words. Do not be afraid...Do not be afraid! In every possible situation of life, God commands us not to be afraid. Why?
Because when the radiant star appears in the black sky and Christmas dawns at last, a Virgin shall bear a Son who shall be called Immanuel, "God with us." Always, He is with us-quiet, infinitely courteous, patient, listening for our words as a parent bends low to hear the whispers of a small child. He answers the cry of our hearts through the balm of holy Scripture, in the sacred sameness of our daily lives, and always, as we kneel or stand before Him in silent adoration and wordless prayer. He is everywhere, He has spoken, He speaks to each of us this very day, this very moment. Immanuel! God is with us!

Every once in a blue moon Mr. Paradosis will pull his acoustic guitar out and start playing some of his favorite songs. He's gotten pretty good at many of The Lost Dogs songs we listen to frequently. Who am I kidding, he's gotten amazingly good and it is quite impressive and I have to say I absolutely LOVE it when he does his "every once in a blue moon" playing and wish he would do it more often. One of the things I fell in love with instantly was his voice, some 17 years ago (well before the time of our courting).

The other day when he was playing and singing I paid close attention to a song called "A Blessing in Disguise" and some of the lines in it really struck my heart. As I pray for the salvation and healing of my father who has recently been diagnosed with cancer I read the words of this song and see hope; hope for a man who has denied God for the last 35 years. "Sometimes the dark can move our hearts to long for the light of the Son. And our ways don't become His ways until we are undone."

A Blessing in Disguise

from the album "Gift Horse"

(Words and Music by Terry Taylor)
How often do we spot the angels?
Or feel the unseen hand?
Most times are tough, the going rough
Like there never was a master plan
Those steadfast doors won't open
And you pray...but you don't understand

(CHORUS)
Hold fast the hope that's in you
Don't always trust your eyes
Sometimes it takes a long time to see it as
A Blessing in Disguise

We live upon this dark surface
And God, He moves upon the deep
What is concealed will be revealed
There is no promise He won't keep
Still, we're confused by the shadows
We're awake, but we're half asleep

(REPEAT CHORUS)

Sometimes the dark can move our hearts
To long for the light of the Son
And our ways don't become His ways
Until we are undone

(REPEAT CHORUS)

And after you've been broken
You may not realize
That you are grace to the broken hearted
And a blessing in...
A blessing in...
You are a Blessing in Disguise

Update on my dad

Thank you all so much for your prayers and for so many who have been asking about him.
Here is the latest.

He received his biopsy report this week and now has a name for his cancer, Squamous cell carcinoma involving supraglottic larynx. (There is some great information here if you are interested.) He has an appointment now with the oncologist at a cancer center for January 5th but is on a waitlist to hopefully go sooner. The doctor that gave him his biopsy results thought he would probably go through radiation for quite sometime to shrink most of the mass away (they are quite small) and then they would go in and clean the remaining out. But that is not coming from the oncologist who makes the final assessment and plan of action. His spirits are high as this seems to be quite treatable.

My specific prayer for him is 2-fold:
1. That this will bring him back to God
2. He wants/needs to quit smoking and is very concerned about the success of that. He says he doesn't worry about missing the nicotine as much as he will miss the "companionship" of it. It's his "friend" and he will miss it when he drinks his coffee, when he drives, when he reads, when he....(fill in the blank). He said it will be harder then any of this other stuff he is going to go through and I sensed a great concern on his part but yet he feels it's essential to his healing. He needs to do it before radiation starts. He says that 2 others in the park ( senior mobile home park) will be quitting with him so he's hoping there will be a support group of sorts.

Thanks again.

Also, I just thought of another prayer request...for the first time in 20+ years my dad will not be spending Christmas Eve with my Minnesota family. Since my parents divorce 20+ years ago we have always spent Christmas Eve with my dad. Since my move to WA I've missed it the last 10 years so it won't affect me as it will my brother and sister. He spends winters in FL now but always returned home for the holidays. This year he is not. I'm not sure my brother and sister realize how this may affect them...it's going to be awefully weird not having dad home for Christmas. My brother said, "At least we know where he is." Good point. But please pray for peace and love. THANK YOU!

SNOW

I must report that it is snowing here at my house in Bothell, WA!!!! We are all VERY excited!! It won't last but I sure love to see it while it is falling in big flakes!
I grew up in Minnesota and I MISS THIS!!!

Moving Mountains

As we start our Advent here on the New Calendar I came across this article that has some REALLY good advice. Advice that is practical! And for me, I hope, will open up some room for growth! I read this and finally feel, hey maybe there is hope for me to grow and learn to be closer to God. It isn’t as out of reach as I thought it was.

“Towards a Fruitful Spiritual Life: Reasons Why Our Intentions to Lead a Better and Holy Life Do Not Produce Results”

The first and foremost reason why our intentions to correct ourselves and lead a holy life remains without result lies in the fact that our intention is often too vague and indefinite.

A certain sinner, for example, says to himself: “It’s high time for me to stop sinning, time to mend my ways! I repent! I’ll stop sinning!” The intention is quite indefinite. And because of this, although it might be sincere, it is unreliable and may not achieve the desired correction. He who has a sincere desire to amend himself must first of all determine exactly what it is that must be corrected…thought and self-examination must come first and only then should a resolve be made, and that resolve should be specific.

This makes complete and perfect sense to me. After reading this a few times I began to compare this to what I’ve been reading about housekeeping. When we look at the whole picture, whether it’s cleaning out our heart full of sin or cleaning out our homes full of clutter and dirt, it’s the same thing. We become overwhelmed and paralyzed unable to focus on the task at hand and unable to move even a small amount. We give up thinking we’ll never change. But just like in my housekeeping book, he’s saying here we need to determine a specific thing to change.

In “Get your Act Together” she says, “Getting organized is a matter of realizing that the ONLY things that stand in the way are a few silly habits AND the way you’ve turned the thought of getting organized into such a big mountain. Getting organized is not a big deal. Jesus said, ‘If ye have faith and doubt not, ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and the thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.’(Matthew 21:21)”

(BTW...I love "Get your act together" much better then the first book "Side-tracked home executives. It's their newer revised , after 15 years of work, version. It has smaller chunks to tackle and makes more sense! IT IS AWESOME...IF you want to move mountains and resolve to do it!)

She tells us to work on one habit at a time starting, for example, with the act of hanging your coat up everyday when you walk in the door instead of throwing it on the back of the chair. You have to practice it everyday before it will become automatic but one day it will and if you don’t do it, it will feel weird. Same with sin. Pick one thing you want to work on, for example yelling. I will not raise my voice anymore. “Enough! With God’s help I am no longer going to raise my voice. I’m going to break this bad habit. Instead I am going to arm myself against it.” Instead, when I feel as if I want to yell I will intentionally whisper, or remove myself for a count to 10. Anything and everything to not yell…with the help of God.

Another reason why our good intentions fail, is because we do not hold firmly enough to our resolve. Scarcely two or three days pass by after our having made our resolution and we, in our normal daily routine of life amidst our worldly cares and pursuits, have already forgotten our intention…For this reason if we truly wish our good intention to be realized…we must immediately bring to mind and renew our resolution…DAILY.

The fourth reason that our resolution to lead a better life often fails, lies in the fact that we want to immediately to become saints… but because this doesn’t happen as quickly as they would like, and whether by habit or rashness they often fall into their old sins, they lose heart and come to the conclusion that it’s impossible for them to change their ways.

Brother! Sister! People don’t become saints overnight, our old man does not easily yield to being transformed into the new man.

Tackling just small hills at a time, we need to renew our commitment daily and we need to ask God for strength to persevere.
Then we can move mountains! Both in our hearts and in our homes!

My Dad

My dad is 66 years old and was raised in a strict Mennonite family in Ohio and Wisconsin. His father was a preacher. My dad and mom married had 4 kids and then he decided he didn’t need God anymore, and has been running from him ever since. Or maybe it’s just denying him. I don’t know. I’ve often wondered how one can be raised with God so important to life and then deny it. I know I’m just naive and ignorant…I’m sure it happens all the time.

For the last 40 years my dad has smoked 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day. For the past 5 years or so he has been drinking like there is no tomorrow and I’ve watched him dwindle into nothing. Every time I saw him, once a year he flies out to spend time with me for a few days, I would notice his health worse and worse but he would always say “I’m doing great!” Never could he leave the cigarettes behind. Two years ago his doctor told him he needed to stop drinking or he would kill himself, his liver was quite a mess. So he cut way back and his liver function improved significantly but he never quit. I just couldn’t help but wonder how long this could last.

Every time he’d call over the last few years I would wonder if "this" was the call. Every time he'd call I'd ask "how are you?" and he'd say "pretty good." Today I asked as usual and he said, "Well, I don't know." I stopped in my tracks...THIS was the call.

Today my dad called and told me they found a mass in his throat. “It doesn’t look good” he said. But they really don’t know anything definitively until they do a CT scan and PET scan on Friday, the 18^th.

As I’ve sat contemplating all of this this evening two things have come to mind. The first and foremost is that with all my heart I pray that he will find God once again. The other thought just came to me and that is not only has he isolated himself from God, the comforter, the spirit of truth who art everywhere and fillest all things, but he is at this time many states away from any of his immediate family; his children and his siblings are all very far away. They all love him and are there for him but can’t be NEAR him. I all of a sudden feel very sorry for him, it saddens me deeply to think how he is going to be feeling going through all of this. I pray, and beg for you to pray, that this extremely low time in his life will find him reaching for God.

Your mercy endures forever, Oh Lord. Despise not the works of your hands, to You belongs worship, to You belongs praise, to You belongs glory: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen

S.H.E. Humor--I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe!

So I really can relate to the women who wrote the "Side-Tracked Home Executives" that I blogged about before. So much so that I bought another of their books called "Get Your Act Together: A 7-day Get-Organized Program for the Overworked, Overbooked, and Overwhelmed". (I fall into the overwhelmed catagory.)
I lay in bed last night reading this book and read the chapter of their story. I almost skipped it because I thought that I had read about their life in the last book but boy am I glad I didn't skip. It felt so good to laugh so hard. And it feels good to see that I'm not as disorganized as others out there! LOL
"We became masters at creating the illusion that we were successful homemakers, but all too often our deeds would lead to public humiliation. There was the time the car mechanic dislodged a petrified Big Mac from under the front seat of my car, solving the mystery of why the automatic seats would not work."
These next two are what had me rolling!
"Before she had kids, Peggy worked for The Columbian newspaper. The usual backup on laundry often left her without underwear. Whenever that happened, she simply wore a pair of her husband, Danny's, shorts. One day she got caught. going down the stairs at work, she slipped at the top and bounced to the bottom, where her boss stood in helpless horror....
'Well, it's company policy that we take you to the doctor just to make sure you're fine.' He was insistent. They went straight from the bottom of the stair to the doctor. By then Peggy was beginning to feel stiff and sore. an X-ray was ordered.
'Strip down to your underwear and lay on that table,' a cranky old nurse ordered. The humiliation of having to lay lie on a stainless steel x-ray table in a bra and men's Jockey shorts defies comment."
"Shortly before I got organized we moved from Fresno to Vancouver, WA. We drove a few weeks ahead of the moving van. My husband had told me to get some tranquilizers for the cat because she hated riding in the car. I had forgotten to get them. Knowing how volatile he could be...I had to make an emergency call on my right brain, when, just as we were leaving , he asked for the tranquilizer. I brought him a capsule. I watched him poke a Dexatrim down our poor cat's throat. During the trip, the cat was a nervous wreck, and she didn't eat for days."
I can't stop laughing!!!

Determination and Perseverance

That's what it boils down to. I need determination and perseverance to accomplish the tasks I have been given as a wife, mother and homemaker.
I've blogged a lot about homemaking and motherhood. I was going to sit down here thinking I had something new to say but as I was looking through my archives to link to some of them I am came across this post from August. It really does say it all. I've come up with routines and plans that I like a lot. As in this post about the Side-Tracked Home Executives, boy is that me to a "T"!!! But I guess I know now that no matter what method you might choose, whatever it is you think might be the best for your household...it takes determination and perseverance. Because you see I'm still really struggling with making it all work. I have the plan and routine! But I'm not diligent enough at it.
St. Juliana is my newest hero. I read about her and pray for her intercession. She was the mother of 13 children (6 of whom died in childhood)! Plus she was in charge of the entire household and it's economy earning this position with her husbands family through her kindness and meekness. I only wish to emulate her perseverance and diligence to her tasks. She was pretty amazing!

Oh Most Holy St. Juliana, please pray to God for me.

Something to think about

This comes from the editorial of the most recent Divine Ascent put out by the Monastery of St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco. This is written by Abbot Jonah who is speaking about Orthodoxy in America and "Where do we go from here?". The entire editorial is well worth the read...if interested it is the Summer 2005 Number 10 issue available here. This section is speaking against secularization...but I really feel that it can be taken to heart on a very personal level as well. Which is why I've bolded the section I did. The entire paragraph is important but the bolded is what really stirred in me deeper thought. To me that short little bolded are was HUGE.

"The reduction of faith to observance of religious forms is a foundational element of secularization. The forms divorced from their content become meaningless, or at best nostalgic reminders of bygone days. They can thus be compartmentalized or discarded, having no real impact on how we live our lives. The only way to fight secularization is to emphasize that faith is about how we live our life, not only remembrance of God but how we treat other people, and that how we treat our neighbor is the criterion of how we love God. Then, we cannot compartmentalize our faith into an hour or so on Sunday morning. Rather, it impacts every encounter with other people, and every relationship we have.

Photo Blog

I have a photo blog! Yeah!
It's here at Ferrenberg Photos!

The Beast of Anger

I got an email from John today, his typical forward of "Wisdom" from Fr. Wayne. But this one caught my attention and I printed it and read it numerous time. Maybe I'm revealing a little too much about myself but I really want to share this. Some of you may have gotten it and if you didn't read it I really encourage you to. If you didn't get it and would like the whole article I would be happy to send it. The article "The Beast of Anger" was written by Fr. George Morelli, and I'll put the article in italics. It's quite long so I only have a small part of it here, the parts that really grabbed my heart.

In order for us to perceive ourselves to be "intruded on" to the extent that it justifies, anger, vengeance, and retaliation we have to have to see ourselves as 'important.' St. Basil tells us "Anger nurses a grievance.” The soul, itching for vengeance, constantly tempts us to repay those who have offended. I am so important, so above others I have the "right" to act uncharitably toward others.

Wow! Every time I get angry it is because I feel intruded on. Over the last few days this statement has pushed me to look at things from a whole new perspective. Do I really think that I am all that important? I never thought so…but???

… the theme of anger is "significant intrusion." We feel some one has intruded on us … Situations (something that someone has said or done or events that have happened) do not produce or cause our upset.

We upset ourselves over people and events, by our "interpretations" of them, thereby making ourselves dysfunctionally angry, anxious or depressed or simply functionally annoyed, concerned and disappointed.

What has really been laid on my heart is this idea that I cause my anger!! And this anger stems from pride! I can easily say, “Who am I to feel this way.” But it is obviously rooted in me somewhere because I so easily get irritated over little things. This has really made me think about my reactions to situations I face on a daily basis. “mommy, mommy….”, “I need this or that.”, “Please stop jumping on the sofa.” “Please hang up your coat.” “I can’t find my book.” “I don’t want to!” The list goes on, but what I see is that really each of these statements, after time, seem to rub me the wrong way. Why? Because they interrupt ME! I feel intruded. How can I look at each situation differently?

Cognitive psychological research has found support for seven cognitive distortions relating to anger and the other dysfunctional emotions:

I can’t list them all but the last one really stung!

• Demanding Expectations, the belief that there are laws or rules that must or have to be obeyed. A mother believes her son should not talk back because she is his "mother." She has the "right" to be angry. (Note God gave us free will, He 'asks' us to obey His commandments. Like Christ, parents can 'prefer and constructively work' toward obedience from their children, but they have no guarantees their children will respect them.) Of spiritual help here is to reflect on the life of Our Lord. He was bruised, derided, cursed, defiled, crucified and died for our salvation. He Himself told us: No servant is greater than his master (Mat. 10:24) ---why would we expect to be treated any differently than Our Lord. It is a blessing if we are treated and honored, but we have no guarantee) A program of rewards for appropriate behavior and punishment, without anger, for inappropriate behavior would be constructive.

Clinicians aid patients in recognizing their distortions and restructuring their responses by asking themselves 3 questions: 1) Where is the evidence? 2) Is there any other way of looking at it?. 3) Is it as bad as it seems?

These psychological techniques have to be applied rigorously and consistently. They should be used whenever we find ourselves starting to become angry

We can reflect on the words of St. Mark the Acetic: Do you want the tree of disorder -- I mean the passion of bitterness, anger and wrath -- to dry up within you and become barred, so that with the axe of the Spirit it may be 'hewn down and cast into the fire' together with every other vice (Matt. 3:10) ...If this is really what you want keep the humility of the Lord in your heart and never forget it...

This active approach toward our becoming like Christ is our vocation as Christians.

It takes WORK to make changes to become more like Him! All the wishing or prayer we do, if it does not lead us to actively make ourselves like Christ, is empty. I do not want to do empty wishing! I think for a long time I’ve been making empty wishes. “I wish I didn’t…why do I act like that…I can’t stand it when I act that way. I wish I could be more…I wish they would…I just don’t know how to stop being so…” Fr. Tom Tsagalakis, who is not only a priest but a licensed therapist, frequently talks about our life being a series of stories. We write our own stories. And if we want to change our story we can close the book and start a NEW story. We are capable of writing a new story and we can control the way it goes. But it takes WORK!

"Since you are God's dear children you must try to be like him, Your life must be controlled by love ..." (Eph. 5: 1-2). Work, vivified by prayer and the sacraments, is the way to advance in our likeness in Christ. Only then will we be able to say with Christ: "Father forgive them for they know not what they do" (Lk 23: 34) This is true anger management.

Thank you!

I've recieved so many wonderful replies to my post. Each and every one of them have been very helpful. I can't thank you enough. I'm sorry that I can't respond to each one, but know your input is very appreciated.

You can read the comments here...if you have this decision to make in the near future I encourage you to read them.

With prayer and thought we will make the right decision for our family. I will keep you posted!

Please pray for us!

Humbly,
Susan Sophia

Children and school

Ever since my oldest, Kelsey Anna was about 3 I have debated in my mind and heart the issue of education. I started out homeschooling her in preschool, but by the time we were half-way through her 1st grade year I was completely overwhelmed about life. At that point I had Kelsey, just turned 7, Charissa- 4 1/2, Nicholas- just turning 3, and Joseph 1- 1/2. Boy was it crazy. And as you've read in previous posts I'm not the most organized person in the world. So we went to public school half-way through 1st grade. We've been there ever since and now Kelsey is in 3rd grade and Charissa is in 1st. Everyday I question whether or not this is really the best thing for them. I see them struggle with things and I know it's normal, but society does not support in any way, shape or form the way we as Orthodox Christians are to learn to handle life. Charissa especially, is always so worried (and has been for far too long in her short little life) about what people think, about making sure things "look" right. (I'm wondering if this isn't a side-effect of the amblyopia and her bad vision---if you haven't heard James wrote about it here.)
I just read an article from the Orthodox Christian Information Center titled "Young Children in the Orthodox Church". My husband has always told me that this website is quite conservative and that I need to be careful what I read, but it is an Orthodox site and has really great articles to read. This is a very conservative article to a certain degree but I think it has some great advice to consider. One small part of it has grabbed my attention and has really made me ponder education even more. I have a tendency to believe that what it says is so true. But it is hard for me to really see it as my children are only beginning their public school adventure. Please tell me what you think....not about YOUR education that took place 20+ years ago, there has been way too many changes in our society for this to be of equal comparison, but if you have children in public school NOW and they are late elementary and older. What have you seen? Do you agree, disagree, indifferent? If you homeschool...why? And how? I really could use some input! I know people read my blog sometimes...I know you are out there. What do you think? Pass this on to others to answer....I'd love it!
Quote from Presbyter Julianna Cownie:
To be honest, the atmosphere which prevails in the average public school is not exactly conducive to promoting civilized behavior, much less Christian conduct. The greater part of what the Orthodox parent tries to convey to the child at home will be quickly unlearned at school because of the child's desire to fit in with the herd. Hypocrisy and shame will often have the child leading a double life if the parents are not extremely vigilant and careful.

You can email me personally as well if you'd like.
susansophia(at)comcast(dot)net

Thank you so much for you input!
In Christ,
Susan Sophia

I'm a S.H.E.

One week ago I picked up the book my aunt recommended, Side-Tracked Home Executives,
and within 4 days I had read it from cover to cover. This does not happen often.
Today, I have the 3x5 system set up and my daily cards being used. The weekly and monthy cards are on hold until the house is culled and cleaned from top to bottom. The book tells you the best way to do this and I will follow suit. This is very exciting and seems quite doable. For the first time I am not overwhelmed. I have a plan in front of me and I see the light. I'm not too much of a pack-rat so it shouldn't take too long to cull and clean each room. But I hope to do quite a bit of donating and freecycling between now and Christmas. From an Orthodox perspective...I'll ready my house(and hopefully my soul) for the coming of the Messiah. I've read lots in the past about it being a tradition for some to clean their houses to be ready for the nativity...it's part of their advent routines. Same with Pascha.

Great Book!

In Christ,
Susan

Time Flies...

Once again, I am truly amazed at how long it has been since I've blogged. I get the site meter reports and it reminds that "Sophia Says" exists AND (what's most amazing) that there are actually people who purposely go to my blog regularly. Please forgive me for the disappointment of not writing very often.
Since my last 2 posts life has done some changing for me. The girls are back in school...a mixed blessing. I worry dearly about them but also don't trust myself enough to bring them home. They are in a new school this year, a parent co-operative and I'm really quite impressed so far. My only concern so far is boredom...there is too much time in the day for idle hands. We'll see what the future holds.
I wrote my Aunt whom I adore and look up to as an amazing homemaker and mother. I sent her my last blog and than was pleasantly surprised at her reply! Nearly 20 years ago she read the book "Side-tracked Home Executives" and developed much of her 20 year routine from that! If you aren't familiar with that title, it is the book that spawned the very famous Flylady.
But I couldn't believe it, my aunt, who has raised 3 wonderful children, been a S.A.M. since their births, has a garden about an acre large, and raises chickens is a S.H.E. and was probably one of the first persons ever to read that book! I immediately ordered the book from the library and intend to read it again! I've also been perusing the FlyLady website again...I used to get their endless emails of reminders to do this and that but I found them too much of a distraction. The computer for me is one of my biggest hurdles, so the more I have it off during the day the more I accomplish.
Another difference I've seen in myself the last 2 weeks is that I eliminated sugar from my diet. I've done a lot of reading about candida(sugar overgrowth) and the effects it can have on you and instantly became convince that it was much of my problem(health). Well, half way through my 2nd week of no sugar I fell wonderful! I fell energetic and my mind feels clearer. My goal is to learn to eat more healthful. At the end of this week I'll slowly introduce WHOLE GRAIN breads and fruits back into my diet. But it feels good to get off of the sugar/craving rollar coaster. When we eat too many processed foods and simple carbs (those that break down quickly into your blood) we create a craving/hunger rollar coater that is nearly impossible to get off of. And when you have an overgrowth of yeast/sugar (which is easy to do in our simple carb society of goodies and antibiotic overdosed society) it is impossible. Some of the books I've read to spawn this adventure are: The Yeast Connection by William G. Crook M.D., The Yeast Connection and Women's Health by the sam author. He also has a website with great information. I essentially started the SouthBeach Diet because it has a 2 week initial phase of no sugars or breads. After 10 days I have lost my desire to eat all day...I can actually watch tv without eating anything and it isn't difficult at all! I used to think about food all the time, it seems, and now I just go about my day and eat when I suppose to eat. I am nervous about adding the good carbs back in, but if they are good carbs they shouldn't cause the spikes in bloodsugar to induce cravings. I hope my body has balanced the yeast to a normal level to eliminate those cravings as well. I know I've rambled enough, but I'm truly excited about my findings about yeast and also AMAZED at list of symptoms yeast overgrowth can cause. If you have taken antibiotics even a couple times a year, have had to be on steriods, have hormonal problems(pms, etc), have been diagnosed with fibromyagia, chronic fatigue syndrome, if you feel sick a lot but can't explain it....check out these books or others. It's worth it! Although I couldn't bring myself to do the "candida elimination diets" I am doing my best to eliminate the sugar overgrowth.
Enough, Enough, Enough!
Please forgive my rambling!
Humbly,
Susan Sophia

Sloth

I’ve posed some questions on my last post that I truly would like to try and get some answers for. Or maybe not “answers” but ideas or advice and encouragement.

I KNOW that I need a routine or schedule to really accomplish things beyond the everyday tasks. I do get the dishes done and the floor vacuumed and beds made on a pretty regular basis. But anything beyond this is VERY difficult for me to get done or even face. I’ve written my schedule or “to-do” list but HOW do I face it and stick with it!!?? I have “desire” to get rid of the clutter, “desire” to do some remodeling, “desire” to have a garden so big it feeds my family of 6 all year long and a “desire” to home school my 4 children exclusively. BUT for some reason the “desire” isn’t enough to motivate me and I DON’T KNOW WHY!! Lately it really is frustrating to me.

Does anyone have and answers or ideas? I probably know the answer. It’s probably staring right at my face…but please, if you have any ideas, advice, encouragement or even quotes. Share!

And please pray for me, SusanSophia, a slothful sinner.

conclusion

Well, it’s been too long since I’ve blogged. I’m not sure I’m of the blogging mindset. Anyway, much of what I’ve been blogging about is motherhood and homemaking and how to find a balance or some semblance of sanity in my home. After all this time and reading and research I’ve come to a conclusion. Over time and practice you need to develop a ROUTINE that works for you and yours. Regardless of what it is we want to accomplish in the day we must have a routine and STICK with it. ( I do think that there are certain things that are important to include in our day...prayers, child training, etc.) I highlight ROUTINE because I believe that for a majority of us it is extremely important to set a routine or schedule and be consistent with it, regardless of whether or not we feel like doing it! In the “good old days” so much of their routine was built out of necessity. They NEEDED a baking day and a laundry day and there was always something that had to be done to make a home a home. But in today’s age and specifically in our society there are so many distractions available to us, so many things out there to take our minds off of what they should be on. The message of the society is comfort and convenience and most especially ME.

I’ve found that I need to build a routine out of necessity and stick with it out And lately I really think it is of the greatest necessity. But how does one stick to it? How do you follow it religiously when you have no desire to? I guess it is just like any other thing you are trying to conquer. Here I’m trying to conquer the passion of sloth and MUST persevere!!!!

Lord, have mercy on me!

More from Mrs. Sharp

Mrs. Sharp is talking about the women's literary world of the late 1800's when she introduces us to "Jenny June" a popular columnist for Demorest's Family Magazine.
One of the most appealing aspects of of her column, "Talks With Women," as well as the work of numerous nineteenth- century advice columnists, is her self-assured, cheerful, and always optimistic tone even when addressing sensitive subjects. Perhaps this is because Victorian women were not torn about their priorities and society supported their efforts in the home and raising a family.

I'm swooning as I read on.....

In August 1867 culumn by Jenny June--" It is a high and important office, that of mother, and requires all the best and choicest qualities which belong to womanhood, trained and perfected. Much love, much patience, wisdom, knowledge, judgment, self-control, with body and soul attuned to, and kept in harmony with, the laws of God and nature, compose the divinity which should hedge about a mother, but alas! too often does not... It is no light thing, no easy task to be a mother and fulfill a mother's duties. Incessant care, incessant watchfulness, and all without fussiness, or too conscious restraint, is the price of success...The making of a happy home is the first duty of a wife and mother, and the most important question to her is, How to do it?...Even under the present imperfect conditions, home is the central attraction of every human heart, the inspiration of nearly all effort, the haven of all our hopes and desires. What would it be were women true to themselves, to their high destiny, to their great work? [What would it be] were the influences of home charged, as they might be, with the electric current of active love, faith, knowledge, strength, courage, and devotion to the interests they are bound to protect?"

Oh where has our society taken us from??
Oh Lord, help me to recreate the "art of domestic bliss" within my everyday life!

If you can relate or desire as I do to feel the way that paragraph reads I cannot urge you enough to read Mrs. Sharp's Traditions by Sarah Ban Breathnach (I found it at the library =free)

Outlook on Life

I've realized lately that my big problem in being a homemaker and mother is that I just don't know how to do it! I didn't go to school for it, my mother (whom I love and respect more than I can say) didn't have time to show me how (she was forced into the work world when I was 7). I grew up in the age of blossoming feminism and rising rates of divorce. And now I find myself smack dab in the middle of the 'me, me, me' society.
On top of all this one of my greatest struggles on the path to salvation is sloth. Don't get me wrong; I do not sit around watching soaps and eating Twinkies. I just find it much easier to sit here (at the pc) than to try and dive into one of my many piles of clutter. Or to try and create some semblance of organization. I am always saying that I wish I were more organized, consistent and simplified, but to actually make it happen is like trying to fit a square into a round hole for me.

I’ve decided what I need to do, as hard as it will be, is to rewrite my outlook on my life. I need to prioritize and decide what it is that I really want, kind of like writing out a business plan or creating a mission statement. But to get to that point I need to really try and understand the importance of my “job”. The responsibility I have as a wife and mother.
I’m reading a book right now recommended by Katherine Levison who has written several books on the Charlotte Mason education methods, called Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions.

The first couple of sentences on the back cover read like this: “A sage of the Victorian Age resurfaces with Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions. Are you pleased with your family life? If your answer is ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know,’ Dear Reader, welcome home to Mrs. Sharp’s Traditions, an old-fashioned resource created especially for modern families.” I’ve only just begun reading this book but I highly recommend it! It talks a great deal of the changes that took place for woman in the 19^th-century. She introduces me to Mrs. Beeton who was the author of a book written in 1861 titled The Book of Household Management. I did a google search for this book and was pleasantly surprised to find an Ebook copy here. I MUST share the first section of the first chapter (titled The Mistress) before I close for today.

AS WITH THE COMMANDER OF AN ARMY, or the leader of any enterprise, so is it with the mistress of a house. Her spirit will be seen through the whole establishment; and just in proportion as she performs her duties intelligently and thoroughly, so will her domestics follow in her path. Of all those acquirements, which more particularly belong to the feminine character, there are none which take a higher rank, in our estimation, than such as enter into a knowledge of household duties; for on these are perpetually dependent the happiness, comfort, and well-being of a family. In this opinion we are borne out by the author of “The Vicar of Wakefield,” who says: “The modest virgin, the prudent wife, and the careful matron, are much more serviceable in life than petticoated philosophers, blustering heroines, or virago queens. She who makes her husband and her children happy, who reclaims the one from vice and trains up the other to virtue, is a much greater character than ladies described in romances, whose whole occupation is to murder mankind with shafts from their quiver, or their eyes.”

This statement has greatly opened my eyes to the significance of my role.

Are we really better off? (Idle hands make mischief?)

Although it has been ages since I’ve acknowledged my purpose for this blog—“Homemaking and Motherhood”—I would like to continue with answering another question that I set out to answer. But let me preface it by saying when I sat to write what you’ll read below, it was not for the intent of continuing my quest into “Homemaking and Motherhood”…it just so happens it fits. I’d love some feedback if you feel so inclined to share your thoughts.

I have been wondering lately whether or not we really are better off these days with all of our timesaving luxuries; “gadgets and gizmos aplenty”. All around us we see ads and commercials, billboards and storefronts telling us that we just can’t live without. Simple things like an electric can opener, a dishwasher and microwave…these have become commonplace and just a part of life. They aren’t even looked at as luxuries anymore. A washing machine and clothes dryer are a necessity! Are these things really making my life easier? Maybe easier isn’t necessarily better for my soul! We’ve been reading the Little House series in our home lately and watching things such as “Colonial House” on PBS and I think there is something frighteningly comforting to me about living in those times. Everything you do in a day was to ensure your survival! Proverbs 16:26 says “The person who labors, labors for himself, For his hungry mouth drives him on.” You worked to provide food and shelter for you and your family or for you neighbor. There was NO room for idleness and sloth. They taught their children survival skills as early as they could. Young boys chopped wood and plowed fields; young girls baked bread and milked the cow. The children had their times of play but when they did they enjoyed themselves because it was relished. There was very little room for mischief.

I see my life as one long spare moment followed by another. The dishwasher washes my dishes, the washing machine washes my clothes and dries them. And the biggest and best thing of all—the market provides EVERYthing else. I don’t need to bake bread or grow vegetables or milk the cow…what a waste of my time. Time that can be used to PLAY…and to teach my children to play! We watch TV, play video games, sit and do nothing because “there’s nothing to do”.

Proverbs is full of caution against being lazy! “Laziness casts one into a deep sleep, And an idle person will suffer hunger.” Proverbs 19:15

“He who has a slack hand becomes poor, But the hand of the diligent makes rich.” Proverbs 10:4

“The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.” Proverbs 13:4

I truly wish to escape this vicious cycle that seems to have overcome my life. It’s overwhelming at times. I wonder why I feel so paralyzed at times with confusion of what to do next…it’s not because I have too much to do, but possibly because I don’t have enough to do to keep my hands from mischief. Or that I don’t know what to do to keep my hands from mischief. Yes, I think to most it may sound like I’ve gone off the deep end. You might say, “Well, you have a choice, you don’t have to use all those gadgets and gizmos aplenty.” But I never gained the knowledge or know-how to even know where to begin.

May God grant wisdom, courage and diligence to a struggling sinner.