Quote...

...from the blog of Morning Offering.

"The greatest sacrifice we can offer to God is our peace; it is fraternal harmony; and it is a people gathered together by that unity which exists between Father, Son and Holy Spirit."

Saint Cyprian (200-259)

Quote

"This life has been given you for repentance, do not waste it in vain pursuits."

St. Isaac the Syrian

Die Death!

My husband posts on his blog, Paradosis, his thoughts regarding our ex-brother-in-laws death last Thursday.
He says it so well, I have nothing more to say.

Thank you for your prayers.

Tragedy in our family....PLEASE PRAY

My husband wrote this:

Prayers please for someone we know who today took their own life. For him and for his family as they/we sort through this all. In particular we would ask that guilt not be allowed to settle upon and cripple us who are likely to look back and believe they should have done more to help.

I can tell you that there are children involved and until all children involved have been told we won't release names. Please pray for them!

Remembering a friend

Nate's in the center, at his own wedding.

Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the repose of my dear friend Nathaniel Listerud. May his memory be eternal!

"With the spirits of the righteous give rest, O Savior, to the soul of Your departed servant, Nathaniel, and keep him in the blessed life with You, O Lover of man. In the place of Your rest, O Lord, where all Your Saints repose give rest also to the soul of Your servant for You alone are the Lover of mankind."

This is me and Nate in 1976, Flower Girl and Ring Bearer.

Walking Daddy Blues

Thought for the day

I love to read Abbot Tryphon's blog The Morning Offering. He has a quote for the day, scripture reading and a daily picture from around the monastery or outing or area in which they are (Vashon Island).

Here is the quote from today...


"Beware you do not blindly insist that things must work out according to what you consider to be right and good. God sometimes does permit such blind insistence to be followed by the fulfillment of our ardent desires. This always leads to misery and disaster (intended to open our eyes on our folly), and happens particularly often when our desires are founded on wild passions. Pray to our Lord for guidance, and to His Holy Mother for special protection."

Staretz Macarius of Optina

Good ol' HIPAA

So, we've had well-check visits this week at a couple different times. Yesterday I took my 12 1/2 year old daughter in for her well-visit. She is healthy and doing well. She still wants me to go in with her, well, you know...I'm her mama.
Today, I went in with the boys. As I checked in the receptionist asked me if I wanted to fill out a form to give me access to their medical records online like I have with mine. I can make appointments, check lab results, email their doctor, etc. I said I'd love to and asked for 2 more forms for my daughters as well. Before agreeing they asked me how old they were and I so I told them the ages. I then get to find out that there probably isn't any point since in 6 months from now it will all be canceled because she'll be 13. I said, "so."
Apparently, due to HIPAA laws, my daughter (in 6 months from now) has the RIGHT to her medical privacy with regards to drugs, sex and MENTAL HEALTH!! In 6 months from now I have NO RIGHT to know anything about my daughter with regards to those 3 topics! She'll be THIRTEEN!!! NOT 18, not 21... THIRTEEN!!! I was astonished...my heart was actually doing flip flops! The ladies behind the desk...all three of them saw my amazement and AGREED with me! They are equally irritated by the absolute audacity of it all.

My question to HIPAA...whose going to pay the bills!?

Thank you, Molly!!

I just finished reading Close to Home by Molly Sabourin. I ordered this book from the library(which I posted about here), they didn't have it but I put in a purchase request and they bought it.

First, I need to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU Molly for writing this book. Thank you God for giving Molly the words to put on paper, words I believe so many mothers need to hear. Words of encouragment. Words of comfort, knowing that I am NOT alone in the race. That I am not the only mother with these thoughts racing through my head. Thoughts of doubt and fear. Thank you for bringing to these thoughts an Orthodox understanding, a perspective that I just didn't see and REALLY needed to hear.

This blog post is the only way I can thank you, Molly. By letting you know how incredibly real this book was to me. And by sharing with those that may happen upon my blog...this is a MUST READ for all mothers...Orthodox or otherwise.

Here is one section that really hit home for me. And it feels so good to know I'm not alone!!!

Of the many cracks in my mothering armor, there is one that leaves my children and me particularly vulnerable to harm: a subconscious habit of judging my family in regard to how we mearsure up to others. I am ashamed to admit how many years I wasted trying to be somebody I wasn't, or how many M&M's I consumed because our papers were chronically out of order, the clutter more conniving than my impractical cleaning schedule, or because the laundry had washed with a tube of greasy Chapstick in my pants pocket...again.
I got downright crabby when my idealized self stood just inches out of reach, looking more muscular, organized , and outgoing than this all-too-human flabby-thighted mother pressing her nose against the glass that divided heavily marketed pipe dreams from reality. My neck was chronically sore from craning over fences for a nice long look at where the grass was always greener, the children better behaved, and scrapbooks filled to overflowing with anecdotes and updated photographs. Guess how few people were blessed by my neurotic desire for flawlessness?

Later in the chapter regarding the above...

I could try to be you, all clever and crafty and virtuous, or her with the delicate feminine disposition; but eventually my real, Molly Ann Sabourin self would rip holes all through that disingenuous disguise. It is my first fruits God is asking of me--my talents, my quirky habits and convictions. It would be awefully counterproductive to try ato work out my own salvation with fear and trembling by concentrating on everybody else's.
I know I am impatient. I know I am absent-minded. I know I struggle with being too impulsive and easily distracted. I know I am sefish, but I also know that I am the very best mom for the wonderfully human kids God gave me. If I start each day with a prayer of humility, admitting that on my own I will really mess things up, my mind and heart remain open for help and direction. I set tiny goals, like not yelling through breakfast, or putting aside my "work" to sit and play one game of the children's choice.

I needed that!

One last quote from her chapter Acceptance...this is huge for me....

The quiestion I need to ask myself is not, "What, in addition to the blessings right before me, would make me happier?" It is rather, "What do I need to rid myself of in order not to get sidetracked from my first and foremost goal of achieving salvation?"

Whoa! There is so much more in this book that is just...wow! For me!

I think I'll read it again before it's due! (or buy my own!)

Thank you again, Molly!!

(It's really late so please forgive the typos and if they are really bad please dont' hesitate to let me know.)

Learning about forgiveness from my 6-year-old son

I've been meaning to share this story that truly touched my heart but kept forgetting. Now another, equally beautiful (to me, his mother) happened today so I will tell you about both.

I'm biased, of course, but he has truly touched my heart. He teaching me about forgiveness!

Three weeks ago....
I needed to pull J aside to talk to him about some harsh words I overheard him saying about another person. They were said somewhat playfully but still they weren't appropriate and I really don't think he fully comprehended what he was saying. So we talked about it a little and I told him that I really didn't think he meant it. He leaned over and said, "Like sometimes when I say rude things to you, mommy, I really don't mean it. Will you forgive me?"


Today during Divine Liturgy for the Ascension of our Lord, Joseph made it quite clear he really did not want to be there. He was very cranky for the first half of the service. Early on in the service I bent over and told him that he really needed to change his attitude before he approached the chalice, that he shouldn't do so with such anger. I told him he needed to find forgiveness. Just as we were starting to say the communion prayer he came up to me and hugged me and said (with a big smile on his face), "Mommy, I forgive you." I hugged him back and said, "thank you, I forgive you too."

Quote

"Behold, you have three weapons for spiritual warfare: humility, patience, self-condemnation. With these conquer." Elder Lev of Optina

Quote I found on the Fr. Tryphon's blog, Morning Offering. He is the Abbot of the All-Merciful Saviour Monastery on Vashon Island, WA.

Prayers Please

This might seem rather silly but it is pretty serious to us.
It seems as though our goat, Butter, has milk fever. This is what I lost my goat, Firefly, to last year. It is a lack of calcium and it happens either within days of kidding or in large producing milkers. Butters been giving me over a gallon a day. I changed the way I fed the goats after I lost Firefly last year but I guess it wasn't good enough. I feel only slightly hopeful in that she isn't completely down yet (although I don't think it is far off) and I have someone on the way to help me administer a calcium drench. But I have to wait.
She isn't eating. Bad thing as it can cause her rumen to shut down and this is very dangerous.
I'm trying to figure out what God is telling me.
"Persevere, Susan."
or
"It's time to let the goats go. You have too much on your plate."

The children will be devastated if we lose her. I will feel like a complete failure!

Oh, Most Holy St. Brigid, Please pray to God for us!



UPDATE:

I just came in from the barn after spending a hour and a half with my friend who is my mentor. She was awesome! Thank you, Sherrie!
Before Sherrie arrived I was able to get Butter to drink some Molasses water (for energy). And she nibbled a leaf of alfalfa. She was up and around. By the time Sherrie arrived her eyes actually looked brighter. Last night she was very droopy. We decided that it really isn't acting like milk fever, but rather a very, very bad case of stomach ailment. On Sunday I had to give her some feed she wasn't used to be Cenex Feed Store sold me the wrong bag of feed and it was Sunday. No choice, and I actually didn't know for sure it was the wrong stuff until I went in Monday to see what the problem was with the feed.
Apparently her body didn't like it.
By the time Sherrie left Butter was eating a favorite weed of hers called Fireweed. We gave her a big dose of Pepto-Bismol, which she didn't like.
I do not think we are completely out of the woods yet. Until she starts eating alfalfa again, which is her main source of calcium, I will be very worried. She still won't eat much...but this is a start.

Glory to God. I'm feeling hopeful again. Now, I must decide what route to take for the future. This is so stressful.

Christ is Risen!

Indeed He is Risen!

It has been amazing several weeks.
Several weeks ago I began to prepare to be a new godmother and help my 12 year old daughter be a first time godmother to a 6 year old little girl. We were supposed to sew her chrismation/Pascha dress but it turned out to be I. Kelsey said, "This is too fancy for my first project." So I took it on as MY first fancy project. With a infant baptismal gown in a close 2nd as my fanciest yet (that story further down).
On Lazarus Saturday the Ferrenbergs were excited to help welcome the Sallis family into the Orthodox Church.

Here they are kneeling to receive prayers of absolution: (from left to right) Walker Gregory, Gregory, Marina, Alauna (Euphrosyne), Riley Benjamin.

A friend of ours took tons of pictures but the best ones are of the kids of course. They were awesome during the whole service!

Marina is 6 years old.

Walker Gregory is 5 years old. (if you click to enlarge you can see his cute little smile.)

Riley Benjamin is 2 almost 3 years old.

Then we were into Holy Week with all of it's splendor and preparations and on the list goes!
Followed by the Feast of Feasts and a week of celebrations!
Here are my children ready for the midnight feast, tired already and being silly while grandma took pictures.



Bright Week has been followed by a challenging week of sickness for me and me alone in this house. Sometimes I really think it was just all the overdoing it that took place for 2 + weeks which ended on Bright Saturday with an entire day of tilling up the garden using a heavy duty tiller. My body had enough. Because the only symptoms were sleep, sleep and more sleep, headaches and chills. Today I feel much better, but still not 100%.

During Bright Week I also scrambled to put the final touches on my first baptismal gown ever which is for baby Isabelle, the first infant I was blessed to become godmother to! My mom helped me out a lot with the sleeves and the bonnet.
Sunday, Thomas Sunday, was a glorious day with baptism. She is so adorable.




It wasn't until Monday that I crashed!

Christ is Risen!

15 years!!!

What Greater Thing
What greater thing is there for two human souls,
than to feel that they are joined for life-
to strengthen each other in all labor,
to rest on each other in all sorrow,
to minister to each other in all pain,
to be one with each other
in silent unspeakable memories ...

George Eliot
(1819-1880)




I love you, James!
Thank you!

Prayers

Rising River Threatens Fargo, ND March 27, 2009 Volunteers are working around the clock to raise the dikes protecting the city of Fargo, N.D. from flooding. They hope to hold back the Red River which is expected to reach record high levels by Saturday. IOCC has been in contact with the local Orthodox community to determine needs. “Officials and emergency workers are scrambling to determine a course of action for a situation that remains unpredictable,” says Pascalis Papouras, IOCC US Program Coordinator. “We urge the Orthodox faithful to pray for the people of Fargo and the surrounding areas as we continue to monitor the situation in these next critical days.”

Admonitions for Parents finale...because I can't post everyday!

It's just too much work to post everyday! So I highly recommend that you go here to read the entire article (if you haven't already) and I will leave you with this one that is...well...wow!

27. I have said this so that you would know that God will not be condescending to those who are neglectful of those for whom He Himself takes such care. For it is impossible that one and the same God should do so much to save these (children), yet pay no attention when their own parents disdain them. He will not ignore this, but to the contrary, He will all the more fearfully display His displeasure and wrath, as it actually hap pens. Therefore the blessed Paul insistently convinces us, saying: Ye fathers... bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). If we [4] are obligated to tirelessly care for their souls, as they that must give account (Heb. 13:17), so much more is the father (obligated to do it), who gave birth to the son, brought him up and lives constantly with him. For just as he can find no excuse for his own sins, he cannot find one for his childrens misdeeds. The blessed Paul showed this same thing. Describing how those who have accepted authority over others should be, he requires care for their own children over all other requirements, so that we have no excuse for our childrens unruliness (I Tim. 3,4, 5). And this is perfectly just! If evil in people is from nature, then everyone would have a right to excuse himself; but as we ourselves are impious or honorable according to our own will, then what good excuse could one present who has allowed his son, whom he loves more than anything, to come to impiety and dishonor? That he did not want to make him honorable? But not one father will say that nature itself insistently and incessantly inspires him toward this. Or that he was not able to do it? But this also cannot be said; for everything—that he took his son under his protection at a tender age, and that he alone primarily has been given authority over him, and that he constantly had him around—all of this makes the education of his son very easy and convenient. It means that the childrens unruliness comes from nothing other than the insane attachment of the fathers to earthly cares. Paying attention only to earthly cares, and counting nothing to be more important, they involuntarily begin to neglect the souls of their children. I will say of these fathers (and let no one consider these words to be born of anger), that they are even worse than child-killers. The one only sunders the body from the soul, but the other casts them both into the fires of gehenna. Death is inevitable according to the natural order, but the second fate could have been avoided if the fathers neglect had not led up to it. Physical death can be ended instantly by the resurrection when it comes, but no reward awaits the lost soul; it will receive not resurrection, but will have to suffer eternally. This means that we not unjustly call those fathers worse than child-killers. It is not so cruel to sharpen the sword, take it in the right hand and plunge it into the little childs heart, as it is to destroy and degrade the soul, for there is nothing equal to the soul.

Coming soon to a library near you....if you request it...

I am TRYING to be frugal these days and REALLY want to read Molly Sabourin's new book Close to Home: One Orthodox Mother's Quest for Patience, Peace and Perseverance. I have often ordered books at the library through their "Purchase Request/Inter-Library Loan request" form. So I decided to give it shot and request this book using the form. I just looked on my account and see that they indeed ordered this book, it is listed as "on order". I'm so excited!
Thank you, Kitsap Regional Library, for supporting Molly Sabourin, an Orthodox mother.
I cannot wait to get my hands on this book.

Admonitions for Parents 6 & 7

I missed a day...so here are 2 days worth of wisdom from St. John Chrysostom.

9. Let us suppose that you fulfill the commandment of the law in every other respect, but being unfaithful in this one commandment you will be severely punished. Listen to this proof taken from the history of one ancient people. You will immediately see to what terrible punishment those fathers subject themselves who neglect their childrens upbringing. Among the Jews was one priest who was respected for his meek character. His name was Eli. This priest had two sons who had given themselves over to every vice. The father did not concern himself with this and paid little attention, or if their depravity, having reached the limit, forced him to reproach them, he did it without the necessary fervor and authority. He should have punished them severely, thrown them out of his presence taken strict measures in order to put a stop to the outrage. He did nothing of the sort. He limited himself to giving them a form of admonition: Nay, my Sons, for the report which I hear is not good; do not so (I Kings 2:24). Is this what he should have said? They offended the One to Whom they owe their existence, and he still accepts them as part of his family? His admonition was useless and vain. No, this demanded not an admonition, but a strong lesson, severe torments, a treatment as strong as the evil. He should have used fear to root their young hearts out of this blindness. An admonition! Elis sons had no lack of these. O useless words! O criminal meekness by which they became victims! A war began, and the wretches became the spoils of their enemy. When their father learned of their misfortune, he fell to the ground and, smashing his head, died.

10. I have just told you that fathers who do not take care to give their children a Christian upbringing are murderers of their own children. Is it not true? Who should Eli blame for his son's death? Himself. True, the enemys sword slew them, but the neglect of their false father directed the blow. Abandoned by heavenly help, they appeared naked against the arrows of the Philistines. The father destroyed himself and them. Meanwhile, we see the same thing before ourselves daily. How many parents there are who do not want to take upon themselves this labor of correcting their unsubmissive and unruly children! They are as if afraid to upset their children by reigning in with stern words the vicious tendencies to which they have submitted themselves. What is the outcome? Their disorder increases; their impunity leads them to criminal offenses; they are brought to trial; and the wretches die at the hands of the executioner. You refused your personal rights over them and committed them to the severity of civil punishment, and human justice wielded its harsh rights over them. You are afraid to humiliate them with some light punishment in your presence; but what horrible dishonor shall befall you when your son is no longer around, and the father, hounded everywhere by accusing glares, no longer dares to show himself anywhere.

Lessons by Our Holy Father John Chrysostomos on Raising Children

Admonitions for Parents 5

7. Children who are submissive and faithful to God in their obedience to His law will have found an abundant source of happiness, even in this temporal life. A poor man with Christian morals inspires respect and love from others. Meanwhile, with an evil and depraved heart, all your riches will not save you from the displeasure and aversion of everyone around you.

8. The youth to whom you give a good upbringing will not only enjoy general respect, he will also become dearer to you yourselves! Your attachment to him will not be a mere natural attraction—it will be the fruit of his virtue. For this, during your old age, you will in turn receive from him the services of his filial love. He will be your support. For just as those who do not revere the Lord also have contempt for their own parents, those who revere God, the Father of all men, will have every respect for those who gave them life.

Lessons by Our Holy Father John Chrysostomos on Raising Children